Sandy Point Beach 038


Sandy Point Beach is the home to many a fond memory of summer’s gone by and this one will be no exception.  We rented a trailer right on the beach.  Me and Becky have the whole summer to just hang out.  Just hanging out and maybe we’ll rent one of those boats and do a little fishing on the Chesapeake, scuba diving, you know the whole works.  And you said that working two jobs all year was stupid.  So how is your one job anyway?

You should be down here.  The boardwalk ain’t much, just a few video games and such, but the beach is where the action is.  Just looking at some of the girls around here makes me want to jump on Becky every five minutes.  Two pieces and nothing left to the imagination.

Right now the place isn’t too crowded, but just wait until the fourth of July.  Reb told me that you were planning on coming down.  Can’t wait to see your face when you see Becky.  See you in a few weeks.


Dear Nancy,

This place is totally cool; you’ve got to see it.  I took a million photographs already.  Shawn is talking about renting a boat.  (If he can keep his hands off me long enough.)  I feel like I’m in a Beach Boys song or something, you know like, “Trailer Park on the Beach”. 

We rode in a dune buggy yesterday.  It’s kind of like your Dad’s jeep only without the shocks. (Ouch!)  My butt still has blisters.  Ha! HA! Yes, I am so funny, thank you very much.

Be prepared for the photo album from hell when we get home.  Well, I gotta go; Shawn’s getting that look in his eye again.  Love you, bye, bye.





Dear Reb,

When are you going to dump that loser of a boyfriend and come down here and have a threeway with me and Becky?  (Ha! Ha! Just kidding Billy old boy.)  P.S. Becky, you can reach me at 1-900-Threeway

I can’t wait to see you all when you get down here.  We’ll dump Bill’s body in the water and then we can really have some fun.  I already told Bill all about this place, so just nag him for all the details.  I’m sure he would do the same for me.  I think we will wait on the boat until you guys arrive, but I’ll make the reservations now, because they will all probably be booked on the forth.

Bring some fireworks.  We’ll tie them to Bill and throw him overboard.  M80’s would be good.

My deepest, most heartfelt love.

From the bottom of my groin.



Dear Paul,

How are things in the land of the underworld?  Have you vanquished Count Strahd yet?  He’s a bitch ain’t he?  I’ve found that it’s better to beat him with his own powers, try Jandar Sunstar.

Anyway, I wish you were down here.  We could stay up all night and take Ravenloft by force, just like the old days.  You could be Cisimir and I would be Jandar, a werewolf and a vampire can kick ass any day!

I could just see Shawn sitting in the corner shaking his head at us while we played.  He stilled hasn’t learned how to lighten up.  Some people just don’t get it.

I saw one that we haven’t beaten yet down here in a bookstore.  I’m still trying to talk Shawn into buying it for me, but you know how the unbelievers can be.  Ha! Ha!

Well, I’ll be talking to you more later.



P.S. Write back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Dear Mr. and Mrs. Joan,

There, that will teach Alfred and all men everywhere that we don’t have to take their names after we get married.  So how is married life anyway?  Me and Shawn are just now taking our first big step in our relationship.  Were spending the summer together on the beach!  Yes, I know what you’re thinking, “Oh no, the whole summer, you’ll ruin your lives like we did when we got married.”  This kind of reminds me of you when you were dating that television commercial guy.  I probably shouldn’t go into that.  I don’t know if you’ve told Al about all your sordid love affairs.

“Hi AL!!!!”

Shawn says hi and sends his love, if that is indeed possible for him.  (You big sex man you.)  but I’m probably making you sick talking about that.

I hope you can make it down here sometime.  Please!!  Don’t leave me alone with him all summer!!!!!  He’s a monster!! Help !!!  Help!!!


Lov Ya,

Bek & Shawn


P.S. Bela Says “Hi!” or at least “Woof, Woof!!!”


Dear Blood Countess Bek,

I tried your advice with Jandar, but he met his demise in the castle.  I still have Cesimir on the island of Souragne.  He will have to enlist the aid of Larissa Snowmane to get out though.  That’s going to cost me.

I hope you’re having fun down there in Hickville.  It sounds like a blast.  Yes, I am being sarcastic, thank you for noticing.  I miss having you around up here.  The realm is diminished by your absence.  I hope you and Shawn have fun this summer.  Really.  I shall light a candle in your honor Countess.




Dear Bek,

Sounds like you’re having fun down there.  I do think I’ll be out of town when you get your pictures developed. You scare me sometimes you know.  I still remember your trip to Disney World; I still haven’t seen all the pictures.

By the way, your creepy friend Paul called.  He said something about kneeling before your bloody something.  You know, you hang out with some weird people.

Anyway, there’s this guy down at the supermarket.  You would just die if you saw him.  I put in an application down there.  I could make a little money and make a move.  So you can just imagine how my summer is going.

So you and Shawn are hanging out all summer rockin’ the trailer?  Must be nice, but I wouldn’t want to stay there after you guys.  It must smell like a monkey house.  I have my own theory about what happened to the shocks on the dune buggy.  Must be nice.

Me and Lucy are going to go camping later this summer.  We are going to get drunk and try to pick up some guys.  You know, getting back to nature and the call of the wild and all that, or at least the wild thing.  I’ll spare you the pictures from my vacation.  Please!  I beg you, do the same!!!  What did I ever do to deserve that anyway?

I’m going to go now, before I embarrass myself any further.  I’ll talk to you later.  Bye.